Condemned To Repeat It?
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007"Those who cannot remember about the past are condemned to repeat it"
-George Santayana
I think most of us are introduced to this saying way back in Form 1, in the text book. The first few pages i think.
It could be Just another quote from some random guy,
Yet another string of words joined together that sounds nice,
Just another random saying…
To me, its a principle that i hold on tightly to.
But now, i begin to see, that i am such an idiot.
I am Still repeating my mistakes.
I am Still going down the same path.
To think that i’ve been teaching people values and principles,
and me myself failing to uphold the very thing that i hold on to.
2007, by far, has been a shitty year.
I am surprised that i am still up and about, after all this time.
Optimism.. hah.. how long could it last me?
~~~~
I cannot blame God, or the world, or ‘external forces’
for whatever that has happened up until now.
The signs were so clear. The clues were so obvious.
History repeats itself.
Why did I fail to see it earlier?
What did I do wrong?
There Must have been a flaw somewhere.
Right now, only 2 people can see this happening.
The repeat of history. The yet-another creation of a ‘personality’.
An exact copy. Its just a matter of time.
What did i do to deserve this?
I dont know whether to take this ‘gift’..
This ability of foresight..
As a curse or a blessing?
Is it a mere coincidence, when sayings, ideas, even song lyrics,
just pops out in front of you in many different forms,
right after you realize the impending problems and situations,
that is about to happen soon ?
If you can fix it, if you have the ability to make things right.
It is an obligation to do so.
You dont need someone to appoint you to be the arbiter,
to actually defend or attack.
You dont need to have official legal advice.
You dont need to think too much and hesitate.
Ethics, moral values, intuition.
When you just Know it is wrong, then it is just wrong.
No arguments, no doubts.
This may be seen as a form of dictatorship,
where one can decide whether
a certain issue or aspect is just, right or wrong.
But when someone jumped off a bridge because you didnt stop him,
are you going to let the next person jump off too?
I was enlightened with this saying,
while I was watching this movie a few hours ago, "Tears of the Sun" .
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph,
is for good men to do nothing"
-Edmund Burke
~~~~~~~~~~~
On a different matter,
I realize that I have been contradicting
what i keep on saying to many others.
I remember starting toasts at birthday parties, dinners and whatever
with the same bloody sentence.
"Girls come and go, but friends, no, family, stays forever.
And you all are brothers to me. Cheers."
But my actions, contradicts everything.
Last year, 2006, was a great year, i admit.
There was not a single moment that i wasn’t proud of.
Though i keep on saying i lived every single second with no regrets,
my conscience keeps on stinging me.
Yeah, i did regret one thing since then.
For the past few years,
In pursuit of so-called ‘happiness’.
Girls have always been prioritized.
Doesnt matter when, where, why or how.
"I’d always choose my friends over girls.."
Pfft.. yeah right.
Now when i look back at myself over the years.
How foolish i was. How stupid i sounded.
How much of a liar i have been.
The neglect. The ignorance.
I owe them all the biggest apology.
The ones that actually last forever,
the ones that actually make you happy,
the ones that actually stick by you through thick and thin,
Till the very end.
How could have I been so blind and stupid?
At least I have been given the light to realize my own mistake.
I have been given the chance to redeem myself.
Now, with matters at hand, the ongoing process,
And with the Same situations repeating itself, literally..
Only with different characters,
It is as though I have been given a second shot at things.
When I am now walking through an all too-familliar path.
The joys and pains, relived.
The moments, refreshed.
The mixed emotions, expressed.
Relationships & friendships, broken and created.
Lives, shattered and reformed.
Potentials, dimmed and outshined.
Characters, killed and moulded.
Hope, destroyed and rekindled.
Lies, exposed.
Truth, finally prevails.
It is the ripple effect.
One small change, one small presence,
Makes a difference in everything.
I could actually make a choice that would once and for all,
ensure that the outcome,
Will Not be another repeat of history.
