Sometimes We Just Think Too Much
Sometimes we just think too much.
Well, thats a different story for some of you 
I’ve just went through the first day of SPM.
The dreaded, long-awaited, life-changing, heartbeat-skipping, mind-boggling, adrenaline-pumping, eye-popping, sleep-disturbing, paranoia-induced exam.
At the end of the day, its just the same bloody paper that you’ve been doing for the past 2 years of your life.
But its the same 10 papers that broke the strongest will of people.
The same 10 papers that shook the lives of many.
The same 10 papers that actually changed people’s lives.
So is it really worth it to give our full acknowledgement, fear, respect and thought to these papers?
After all, its nothing compared to what you’ve gone through..
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I’ve seen many people that have the capability of scoring well in the papers, but failed to do so, because of their fear.
The traumatic past that has been haunting them till this very minute.
Imagine, getting Fs, no wait.. Gs, for every single test for the past 2 years, and you keep on working hard on it.
One of the papers were Add Maths.
Sure, i have been haunted by Add Maths for the past two years.
I have failed each and every Add Maths paper i took since the day that it entered my life.
But the irony is, im teaching Add Maths now to people.
Its funny, how you failed for 2 years straight, and suddenly at the end point, you end up teaching add maths.
And what i realized is, the people that i taught are actually capable. They are damn smart, just that they dont realize it.
They can easily score an A, but they failed to see it.
The fear conquered them, they thought
"oh, ive been failing and failing, the next time will also be the same lah.."
Its funny how our mind can somehow make us lose, before the battle actually starts.
I have to thank God, and also to the people around me that moulded me to become who i am today. Im able to resist that ‘i cannot’ thing.
And somehow i feel that its a calling for me to spread that around.
Its like that saying , which Adidas patented. "Impossible Is Nothing".
Its true, if others cant do it, what makes you think you cant?
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The human mind. Amazing thing indeed.
It can make you go terribly sick, even without an illness;
and it can also cure the worst of your sorrows and conditions.
Last sunday, i read an interesting article on Optimism.
"Optimists are not people who puts on a smile all the time, they are realists who get things done."
Now thats something.
Optimism is not a panacea. It doesnt cure you. It doesnt save you from anything instantly.
But it gives you strength and endurance to last for an extra few hours, days or weeks, maybe even months.
And its these short periods of time that somehow makes the biggest difference.
So, at the end of the day, its just a bit of positive thinking and a clear goal, you can actually survive the worst of things that could happen to you.
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Back to the ‘thinking too much’ issue.
If its one thing i learnt from the book, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell,
is to trust your first instincts and never think too much about anything.
Once you think too much, the clear goal, becomes, not so clear anymore.
What could have been so simple, becomes complicated.
What wasnt there originally, was now there.
This is because when you think, all the random possibilities start to key in.
The probability of so-and-so happening, the probablity of this, the probability of that.
Our mind somehow works in terms of numbers and probabilities, i guess.. and it often takes time to ‘calculate’ these numbers, and with too much numbers, you’d end up jumbling all of them about, and picking whichever comes first in your mind (which is usually the worst out of them all).
I dont know, call it
being pessimistic,
being thoughtful,
being careful,
whatever it is.
But then again, sometimes feelings get in the way of your thinking as well.
And somehow the numbers start to change and the answers would always point to the one your feelings want. Regardless of whether its completely off the mark, or spot on.
Recently my best friend already ‘kena’ by this phenomenon.
And it turned out that he was completely off the mark.
All this time, the thoughts, the ‘possibilities’, the drama, the glances and smiles, meant nothing actually.
It was just pure coincidence and it meant nothing more than a friendly gesture from the significant other person.
And now, i too am feeling the same thing.
Im thinking too much, ‘could it be this….?’ ‘could it be that…?’
Oh, the unanswered questions.
I just hope that this wont be a repeat of what happened above.
