It Was A Matter of Pride
Earlier this tuesday, i had my biggest paper.
Additional Mathematics.
To me, this is the actual SPM paper. My actual test.
It was a chance for redemption.
All my life i’ve been failing and failing, and somehow at the end point,
a miracle happened and now I can teach people this very subject.
Though it pains me now, knowing that the paper was leaked,
weeks before the actual exam..
But i know i did it honestly.
I’d rather get a C5 with my own sweat and blood,
than an A1 with ‘guided help’.
The night before the exam, i actually went to my tuition center,
to see my teacher, Mr. Shakib.
I knew that i would’nt be learning anything that night
as nothing would go in anymore..
Just that, i wanted to hear him say what i’ve known all along,
"its not the destination that matters, its the journey"
This Add Maths, is more than just a stupid paper to me.
It was a question of pride and dignity as well.
I couldnt let it forever defeat me, and let alone haunt me,
as it did before.
To go so far, and not finishing it with a blast…
Thats just not my style i guess.
Now, wouldnt it be cool to have my add maths result over the years in a table..?
G9, G9, G9, G9, G9 ……… A1
And so, the battle against the add math paper is on.
Paper 1.
I couldnt believe my eyes.
I thought they were filled with trick questions.
No way, it couldnt be This simple, could it?!
As a matter of fact, it was too simple.
During the 4 hour break, i actually went back home.
Got a nice nap, ate, and showered.
Went back to school, and became the student paling poyo in the LRT.
Finishing off add math questions from the
"Cerdik Publications, Past Year Papers" book.
It was my first time using that actual book, as in, for my Own self.
It is already filled with answers from various different people that i taught.
Damn! People staring at me
as I was filling up Paper 2 questions like there was no tomorrow!
And there she was, Paper 2, in the hall.
After the 2 and a half hours,
i found out that the paper was actually easy.
Its just that, 1 or 2 questions are like, damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn hard!
I can actually see the difference, 2 months ago, and now.
From scoring only 20 marks, to losing only 20 marks.
A miracle, i presume.
And i feel like an accomplished man.
No other paper in SPM meant more to me than this one.
Then, i remember it again, though not in the voice that i speak to others,
but the one where my teacher repeated it to me.
"its not the destination that matters, its the journey"
Sometimes, yeah… Though it may sound cheesy and all,
Hard work and preserverance pays off after all!
