100% Amirul

One of the most disturbing thoughts that my conscience have been haunting me, is the countless times that i’ve pau-ed people throughout the year.
While many victorians dont mind about the pau-ing business, it has been bugging my mind ever since i found out that a certain someone was actually very pissed off about it and kept it all in, without me knowing.

In Victoria Inst, one of the things that have been implemented in our way of thinking is that "sharing is caring". I, however, have taken this concept of sharing abit too far.
For the sake of getting a new phone, i have saved up all my pocket-money, and fed my hunger by pau-ing my friends, almost everyday.
Gustave, for the carrots and salad.
Aiman, for all the nice stuff your mum cooks.
Nazrin, for the sandwiches and money.
Hakym, for the many Ringgits spent to buy me food and drinks.
And the Nasi Lemak consumers, thanks for giving me some!
And sorry if i havent mentioned any other names in specific, because it’ll just take forever.

I really am grateful for all the food and help that i received, whether it was voluntarily offered or not, which were very very good, i’d say.. i am sorry for doing so, and i promise i’ll try my best not to do it again.

Concentrate on the moment. Feel, dont think. Trust your instincts.

The most memorable quote for the week dramatically said by Liam Neeson or Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace which was shown on StarMovies for the Star Wars marathon running for 6 weeks. Yes, i am a die-hard fan of good art, so sue me.
The line was meaningful enough that it sparked inspiration for me to post on another entry. <It seems that i have to rely on sparks of inspiration which seldom happens to post an entry here>

As we all know it, we have only one meagre life, and we have the benefit of having it very short and brief. Snap your fingers afew times, and HEY, Its 2007 next month! And i just thought that i was just warming up to 2006.

"Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever."
Horace Mann - Early American Educationist.

True, they are gone forever. Many could have been done in just 2 minutes, let alone 2 hours.
Hey , in my case, not ‘lost two golden hours’ but more like 2 golden Months of accumulated time wasted throughout the year.
But what is it that makes this man value time so greatly, and we (i know that im not alone here!) dont?

One of the best movies i’ve watched this year was Click. However surprising it may be, that Adam Sandler actually played a damn good role and character in this movie, the message of the movie was clear.
We run and chase after the rainbow for the pot of gold. But at the end of the day, it’s just cornflakes.
The movie, in a way teaches us not to "fast-forward" our lives. Which is infact, we are doing almost every moment of it. Those bickerings and arguements, the troubles, crisis and break-downs. Everything.

I guess my thoughts are majorly affected by the media. My favourite advert of the year, is the KFC one. The one that shows during the first 15mins of every movie. With that catchy tune, budum, budum, budum budum.. budum budum budum budum.. bu-dummmm…
Priceless snapshots of different scenes of different people in different situations.
*snap* precious moments - when the little girl was running with her dad to find shelter when rain just poured down on their little picnic.
*snap* tender moments - when the wife was feeding her baby, and the husband was smiling and having a good time being with his wife and kid.
to describe afew of them in the advert, Damn the photographers just know when was the best ever moment to take the snapshot. I salute thee.

Is there a point to this? Uh.. Oh yeah. The moments in life, they are everywhere, happens everyday and at any point of your life. I mean, yeah, i feel it all the time, and do my very best to cherish it, to live it.

Lets say, rugby for example, recently ive had a match against a Singaporean team at the VI field. Yeap. Kiasu, Singaporeans, i think its a synonym or, those words are just simply related. The Singaporeans brought their own referee from the same school. And, you’ve guessed it. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the referee was SO fair, that the singaporeans have a fucking free penalty kick every time they did a mistake.
My coach has always said that he is not teaching us (the players) rugby, instead, he is teaching us about life itself in his own way. I’d go more on this some day, later on, when the time or inspiration comes. But, i swear, what he tought us, or more in particular, me, is the countless formulae that should be applied in real life, as it was applied in rugby. And one of them, is most definitely another version of the quote i stated in the first line.

As i was playing and defending at the time being, there were 2 people charging on towards me, and one of them was holding the ball. Since i was the winger, im the last man. If i let them go, thats it, they’ll score. And so, the magic happens. The right second before i was about to get into contact with the person holding the ball, time stopped.
I could see the two boys right infront of me, and i know, i just KNOW that , if i tackle the fella with the ball, he will pass it to the other extra man, and he will make the score untouched. Then on, i just followed my instincts at that moment , right at the second before i tackle, to grab the one with the ball, on his upper torso, and thus, holding on to the ball itself. Yes, by doing so, i would not have make the boy fall down and eat dirt, but, he wasnt able to pass the ball, and his mind process was stuck, jammed there.. he thought and programmed himself to pass the ball at the moment of impact, but, the ball was stuck and he somehow just, dropped the ball.

After the first half, the coach told me to sit down, and let another fella take my position. Yeah, one of the form 2s i think, which i believe is a damn good method. Gain the experience hands on, even if you dont know what to do, just get yourself in the game, and instincts will guide you through. Even the coach commended on what i did, not taking the man down, but stopping his process from working, and prevented him from passing. "I saw what you did tadi. Smart play. Bagus, main guna otak." he said.
Yeah, after the few minutes of self-glory and pride, i thought to myself, and re-lived back the moment. If i actually paused and thought on who to tackle, who to tackle where and when….. they would certainly have made it past me and scored. And, yeah, by concentrating on the moment, time stopped, and it felt right for me to tackle the fella the way i described it. And, it worked.

But other than that, im sure there are many other examples of encounters such as this.
To feel the moment, and not to think. Improvisation acting is one of them. It wont work if you think too much, just, do what you do best, and follow your instincts. I am bloody well sure that you have encountered a lot of moments in your life, when time just stops, and you’re actually cherishing the moment itself. The very few seconds that seemed like hours, the magic of it.

As i recall a certain December 11th, ice-skating with a lass that i just knew for a few days. It was all improv, yes, trusting my instincts on what to do, and not to think too much. The time i had on the ice-rink was superb. I could still re-live it again. The very few seconds of me, wobbling around trying to establish balance, and looking at her, just dancing away on ice as if she was born to do it. As she held me close, and guided me into what seemed to be, floating on air.. i was drifting away in my thoughts and trying to store every single second of it in my memory, the sight of a certain person made me panic and the dream-world vanished.
I was thinking OH SHIT! OF ALL PEOPLE.. WHY??! And WHY NOW?!
It was my mum. Oh, thank you God, for rocking my world like this. You have given me one of the best gifts ever that i could have asked for, which was just a day where i get to venture into the realms of the unknown, and You gave me my mother as well.
She was holding a camera and taking pictures of me and the lass skating together. I was flabbergasted, i almost tripped, and i went to her, screaming, WHY ARE YOU HERE ?!
‘Oh, i was just.. uhh, going.. uhh, shopping’ she said…
‘Yeah RIGHT… now just, please, dont screw things up for me and just, be-gone’ i said.

If telling her that i was going to Queensway just to let her know that i’ll be safe, meant that she’ll secretly stalk me and check out what i was doing at the time, i would have never told her anything. I have certainly learnt my lesson. Yes Indeed.
I vaguely remember, she has always made bets with her best-friends-forever-since-school on their sons. How they would brag about their son’s achievements and whatnot. Ahh, i knew it. Later on, she must have e-mailed it to her best friends or something. "ooh, my son already went on with girls and see, ice skating summore, what about yours.. huhh??!" Well, what can i say, she’s my mum after all….
But yet again, i was never angry about that incident or disappointed in my mum for doing so. Even the lass said that ‘ah, its just your mum, shows that she cares anywho’ .
Now thats looking at the glass half full! Just the way i like it. However embarassing, funny, or surprising the moment was.

Its the spice of life. Nothing will ever go perfectly as planned. There are always those moments where you just want to get out and escape, and yet again, later on in life, after you’ve went past that stage, you are actually thankful that you went through it.
If i was to be asked :
"If you could change one event in your life, which one would it be?"
I would gladly answer : No. I refuse to make any changes. Because of these events, the ups and downs made me the way i am today.

The moments that we go through in life. I’d say ive cherished them all, from bad ones that make you feel like dying or killing somebody, and the great ones that make you feel colourful, the jazz of life, and makes you feel alive even after you’ve been shot 5 times.

And, there are always the times where you just, slack off, and waste away the time, and your life. Sleeping until past noon, once you wake up, hey, half the day has gone by. Sitting down, being all emo and just depressed, hey, i know the feeling, we’ve all went through it at least once, but, how does that help you with anything? Feeling sorry for yourselves… A lot can be done in just two minutes, and i’d rather not sit down and frown upon the missed opportunities, the unfortunate events, and whatever. Like, now for example, the school holidays… What have you been doing with your current free time ? What things have you done recently thats worth mentioning ? If you have actually accomplished something, can you re-live the moment and re-tell the story just like it was ?

They say that just before you die, time stops and your whole life goes past you. Hey, that could be any day, and if you havent been saving up those memories and living up your life to the fullest, it will be a quick death of you.

These moments will come and go, everyday of your life. Just sit back, concentrate on the moment, and follow your instincts, just dont think too much. And the world will go along with you.

Have you ever felt it, when time stops and you can feel the whole moment living inside of you?

Weellll then, its been awhile since i last entered a post. I was actually away, on a holiday <hey that rhymes!>.

Everything was screwing up. The Genting Highland plan was somehow still a blur and already facing a certain cancellation, my laptop’s monitor somehow ’shattered’ from the inside and now im forced to use an lcd monitor meant for a desktop pc, im broke with the RM1k++ stash meant for the holidays used up for my new phone, the unexpected appearance of rugby training sessions and matches somewhat in the near future thus ruining plans, and thinking up of a way to go to the coming party without really discredit myself in the eyes of my parents.

Ahhh! Its driving me nuts! And i didnt even get to watch that movie, Cinta yet. It was supposed to be the must-see Malaysian movie of the year. Lack of time? Or was it lack of a companion? Most certainly, i Will Not watch it with my male comrades, it’ll just be awkward. . .

My mum and her surprise trips. Soon after i’ve got my Brand Spanking New SonyEricsson w850i Walkman Phone , she told me her plans for the week. It was quite a surprise and a pleasant one too. One good news after another =)
And Yeah! My phone has joined my ‘lucky’ collection. It was actually the LAST one in stock for KL.
(Original, of course, i dont do these pirated, ciplak’ed and AP ones)
Now, ive got my lucky t-shirt (the red timberland one), my lucky shoes ( red puma’s ), lucky bracelet <but i lost it..oh well, pass on the luck eh>, and now, lucky phone ! Now i know wheres the source of it all =P

Okay, back to the trip. Me, Opah and Family went to Cameron Highlands on the 5th, which was tuesday. Arrived there, and woah, the air smelled different, i find it strange and awkward, but at the same time, im liking it. The air smelled fresher and pure Something that you wont get in KL!
Moving on, the next morning, we went to see the tea plantations , view and do some shopping. As you can see in my main picture, i was sitting down there, enjoying the view, after munching up a
DAMN nice brownies and ice-cream treat. It was one of the best brownies ive had ever. Honestly.

While looking at the view, it was as if, time stopped. And in those moments where i phased out into the state where 1 second is like, 1 hour for me. And, being the typical me, i was thinking too much and in detail too… Some of the things that i do, unconciously.
I was supposed to think about Nothing. But instead, i was thinking about the near future, and waaay in the distant future.

• My new year’s resolution.
• How am going to cope and what am i going to do next year.
• Music classes , tuition classes, KPJ to handle, social life to be intact and/or improving, SPM, the scholarships, The March, June And Trial papers, which i was just tipped off by a well-connected teacher that companies and organizations have already been eye’ing me to hand out the scholarships based on my results.
• My Current life.
  How was it? I find it great, but simply not enough.
  How to overcome it? I have yet to find the answer.
  Companionship..Do i need it, or want it?
  Friends, what happened to them?

And to stuff waaay distant in the future..

• Jobs - Doctor ? Cosmetic / Esthetic field ? Or to succeed my mum’s path as a Gynaecologist?
  Or, pursue another career that havent crossed my mind yet?
  My interest is in people. And only people fascinates me.
  Psychology ? Psychiatry ? Public Relations oriented ?
• Marriage, spouse, life-partner.
  It was already set in my mind that im going to break the family traditions and pattern. Pioneering the new generation.
  Mix-marriages are never wrong eh… Yeah, it is settled then.
• Kids. The more i think about them, the more of them i want.
  Hah, and force them to go to music classes since the age of 6.
  Mold the clay when its still soft! 1 drummer, 1 guitarist, 1 vocalist.. Hahahaha, get my own band. The Amirul 5 or something

bleeh, whatever. The rants, thoughts of a one-of-a-kind guy.
And all of that was just thought up in a few seconds which felt like hours. The magical wonders of Mother Nature? Who knows.
I guess thats why Han "Tapir" Leong loves nature so much. Hahaha

We actually stayed at Cameron for a couple of days, and the rest were spent in Penang.
A short summary of it will go :
Penang = Bloody Hot.
The previous month of applying skin-recovery and whitening lotion (vain? no. its more like, i love myself) will go to waste if i swam in the sea, or the swimming pool under the hot fireball..

Seafood, Nasi Kandar and Pasembur. The trademark foods of Penang.
Im not a fan of Nasi Kandar and Pasembur at All! Literally. So, i just watched my family ate, while i would just, puasa or something. And, not forgetting the Pasar Malam they have here, every night along the roads of the main tourist spots. Man, i have to say, KL, get lost. You lose in this battle.

RM4 per DVD and Album CDs. Now thats cheap. For the albums, man, 4 bucks is waay worth the money, considering the time it takes to download the album through the net one way or another.
It was a shopping spree. In the field of DVDs, all i have to do is cucuk my dad, and, 1 by 1 by 1 by 1 the discs were added in.
As for quality, music is just like the original. And for the DVDs, hey, what do you expect? 4bucks. You get some recorded ones, and some proper DVD 9s.
Since the best place to get them 100% original quality DVD9s for RM12 at Bukit Bintang or Low Yat Plaza was raided too often, i have to get them DVD’s some other way…

Oh well, it was a nice holiday. Nothing too posh or fancy.
Just nice, just the way i like it to be.
I’ve managed to unwind from it all, escape from it all and just, have time ( which was actually afew seconds ) in the right atmosphere to.. think.

Now i know the feeling when businessmen or working people escape from the city for afew days and just did nothing and gazed into space with the right atmosphere. Liberating, yes.
How bout you? Where did you go for the holidays ?